Almost a year later...

So almost a year ago I posted my last blog. I meant to keep up with this - so I'll try to keep up with it better from now on. It's been quite a year.

On my last post, I remember that I said something about going back to Brazil. That I did - last March - and I'm saving up for my next trip & seminary - through checking people out at the lovely local Kmart.

Throughout the year - if I were to tell you what happened with a few sentences - it would probably be something like this - I began the year hopeful - wanting to make the best of everything that came my way. Not everything that came this year was good... but not everything bad. My Sophomore year of college began and soon I'll be in my 2nd semester of it. Two people who I was close to passed on to be with our Lord. Ms. Sue Newcomer and Mrs. Joyce McIntosh. These were both ladies who went to my church that I grew rather close to. Ms. Sue Newcomer and I had gotten so close together - that I had a house key and was over at her house 3+ times a week... including before her death... She was a best friend to me. It seems like I have a tenancy to loose best friends. They get mad and leave, or the stop talking to me for no apparent reason... or they die. However, dying, while it's hard on all of us who get left behind, for these two wonderful ladies, I know for sure I'll see them again in Heaven. Without a doubt. A friend of mine moved in with us about 2 years ago... and she had a baby. For the first half of the semester I had a small child to help take care of.. for the last half I was helping Sue out for extended periods.. up until her death. So it would probably be an understatement that this semester was hard. My grades fell... I started with 5 classes... I dropped 2, failed one... and wound up with 2 B's. All of that drama, seems to just be the major points, but of course there's always more - some of which I won't share to the whole world - even though the people who this involves will probably never see this post - because no matter how many times I post it, they're just not interested in reading something I write - even if I do sum it all up into some sort of devotional.

While all of that is super hard - I'm reminded that God is always in control. I know that's one thing I'm going to need to learn how to count on if I wind up on the mission field - completely dependent on Him. No matter what we go through, we need to believe that God will get us through it, and he has a plan - even if we REALLY don't like that plan. I know that's a tough one to believe, but what would happen if we really did trust that God knew what He was doing? Life might be easier. I know it's easier said than done... but we have to remember Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose. "

So there is a purpose in all of this.

In conclusion - my advice to you would be to hold on with everything you have... and attempt to make a b-line towards the Father.

Discipline

A few hours ago, I broke down. I cried like no other. In the past 3 months I've lost my best friend, my job, and honestly, probably my sanity.... however, I'm also 1 week away from going back to Brazil. [The place where I gave my heart completely to missions.]

When I lost my best friend - officially - I was heartbroken, and still am. So, it wasn't meant to be? Okay. Well... what does that leave me with? -- A new school... without too many friends.. maybe one or two, but not anyone I'm particularly close to. I have school... 3 classes, that I tend to study my head off, and I had a job.. but now that's gone now too. I have been... wanting to hide from God. For no particular reason... I've just wanted to hide. I've wanted to portray the perfect life - without a care in the world, seeming to follow God, while somehow still following the American Dream.

Somehow, in the end, I'd be the one with the white picket fence, a loving husband, several kids, and plenty of money.

In the past few weeks, especially in the past few hours, I feel like I've been hit over the head.

Sometimes the the dark times we have - when God disciplines us, is when we learn the most.

As the "Radical" booket from David Platt questions...

"What if we were created, not to advance ourselves, but to deny ourselves? What if Jesus is worth of more in our lives than a Christian spin on the American dream?
And what if there is greater, more lasting success, security, safety, and satisfaction that can be found only in RADICAL devotion to Him?"

The deal is - that we WERE created to deny ourselves. Jesus said in Luke 14:33, ""Simply put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it good-bye, you can't be my disciple."

What are you willing to give up for Him?

Most of us have been on a mission trip. Most of us know how to work for the church. We don't do this every day, we don't act the same way we do at church as we do in our personal lives. We should. We should give everything completely over to God. Our thoughts, our hearts, our minds, our computer, our television, even our class time. We should seek God in everything, including the trials.

No one does this automatically. It takes discipline and God disciplines those He loves.

" And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children?^d]">[d] He said,

“My child,^e]">[e] don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and don’t give up when he corrects you.
For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”^f]">[f]

As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever?^g]">[g]

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong."

Hebrews 12:5-13

Take heart, and be encouraged child of God.

John 16:33 says:

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”