Reflections: Last week in a secular school.

As I scroll through facebook - I see posts mainly about political things, sex, money, and Christ. Such an odd combination. Having friends and living in a liberal college town has an impact... but being part of a small local congregation does too. Emotions flood my mind as I think - This is my last week being a student in this town. My very last week at IvyTech... my last week pursuing something that I thought I wanted - ultimately a degree at Indiana University - To stop... get ready and go to seminary? Yes, that's right, I said it... seminary. Particularly Boyce College. I wrote on this before - however my last post was flooded so much with the fact that - people don't get it. Honestly, I'm overwhelmed by how much people don't get it... and I so wish people could see it. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying we should all drop everything and go seek ministry positions and go to seminary.... but I am saying we should all surrender to whatever the Will  of God is. This a foreign idea - especially among Americans.... and while that idea that it's so radical isn't new, we still don't get it. Honestly I'm convinced that I don't get all of it either. I go to church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night like so many other Christians. I sit on the pews, listen to what the preacher has to say - and sometimes it does go in one ear and out the other. I have to be so careful not to get sucked into the routine of things. I'm so used to go just going to church, work, and school like clockwork... giving a thought to want I want to do and what my dreams are, but never really doing much to get there in the way of change. However, even that is so Americanized. The idea that we are entitled to our own dreams and the power in the individual is a scary... and not Biblical thing. We are called to be so much more than what we dreamed of being. While so many can't see it - giving up everything isn't really giving up everything. It's so emotionally hard at first... but as Oswald Chambers pointed out we can't just go by emotion - seeking only the big firework moments.... and honestly, packing isn't all that glorious.

I've been deemed so many times as that 'crazy Jesus chick'... which so many think that's a title of honor, that I should be proud. Honestly, I tend to want to blend in - not stick out like a sore thumb. In so many of my classes I do. I'm one of the few who still has those 'traditional' values... still believing marriage is sacred, that we shouldn't kill unborn babies, that if we have a great national debt - that we should maybe try to pay it off, someone who doesn't drink or smoke - and considers drive-in movies and Twizzlers of epic fun. --If drive-in movies and Twizzlers are of moral worth [just kidding!!]-- I'm so looking forward to being with others like myself - and being able to have deep conversations and learn.

However... I might just be your average person... but that doesn't matter. I have a so much more than average God.

I was talking to my parents this week - and honestly I don't think they realize half the things they do. I probably don't realize half the things I do either. They keep asking me - so what kind of job will you get with a degree in Theology? or I'll come up with some crazy question - like, if God is light, and time stops beyond the speed of light.... is that where heaven is? Because God is light and there is no time in heaven. -- I'll get such an odd response like - you're reading too much into the scripture - from others they'll just roll their eyes, like here she goes again.....

And then I have to stop and think. How many times have I rolled my eyes and people and stopped listening because they were so into something I wasn't. What if people just need someone to listen to them, even if they're not right? I keep thinking.... God loves us all the same. He made us in HIS OWN image. Remember those unlovable people? - They're made in God's image too. He loves them and thinks of them just as he thinks of you.

I feel a deep throbbing in my heart when someone doesn't understand the love of God - especially when I can see it... and what is troubling, is I can't explain God's love to other people - because you really can't understand it until you experience God's love in a deep way. You can know God loves you... but experiencing that love? So much more than words can explain. Maybe that's why there are so many metaphors in the Bible - because they used the strongest words we have.

I look all around me and I see a lost and hurting world.... and it breaks me. Now in this equation? I don't matter. This was our Savior's passion - this dying and hurting world. It might break me, but it pierced Him. He BECAME our sin. He BECAME the brokenness, the guilt, the lies... he became nothing.

The beautiful thing? That's not the end of the story. He was stronger than that. He defeated it... and in that, we BECAME his RIGHTEOUSNESS. As the church, we ARE the Bride of Christ.

... now think about that for a moment. As a female... I can tell you how I've dreamed of my wedding day since I was a little girl. I've dreamed of a long stunning white dress with pink and purple flowers lining the church I grew up in. I have yet to have that wedding..... but while that wedding will be lovely.... think of how much more the wedding between Christ and his Bride [[The Church]] will be. How undeserving of this we are!! Christ becomes our dirtiest sins - defeats them - and becomes our savior. Which then we get His righteousness.

Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see. Twas' grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved! How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed. [[John Newton (1725–1807)]]

How sad and troubling it is to see a world that doesn't understand God's Grace.

¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”  Matthew 28:19-20