I don't know how many people are going to read this, but I'd like to share a few thoughts on dating. This is more for females, but guys, take these things into mind, please.
Boyce College Culture: Part of it, is defiantly that you'll find your soul mate some where on campus - so that makes meeting new people a little bit more scary.... or even talking to the friends you have, because you never know who they might turn out to be. There's a lot of pressure to find your mate and married - even off campus in the world, apart from Bible College. We're pressured to find that one that will complete us and make us whole..... and a lot of times we long for that person, especially around the holidays.Here's the deal ladies. We shouldn't settle for less than we've bargained for - and we have to keep our heads held high. We shouldn't let anyone - even a man - tell us that we are less than what we are - even if that might mean losing "love".
The love that we're longing for - that we crave - isn't a love that is going to tell us that we are less.
I'm saying all of this - because my dating experience in general... has been interesting to say the least. I'm not going to go into all the details, but I'd like to remind y'all of some things - especially if everyone is having the same experience that I am.
We, as people, we're made in the image of God - Genesis 1:26-27
- As women, we're not lower or less worthy than a man. We're not a possession. We are are people just as much as any man. As ladies, we have different roles to play than guys. Ladies, we were made as helpers - to men - Genesis 2:18-25 (I know they don't listen much, but you know what they say - behind every great man is a great woman! ~ Just kidding!)
When a man becomes our husband, we become of one flesh - we're one person.
Now here's the big one. We are supposed to submit to our husbands.... but the definition of the word submit can be argued here. Ladies, we are to respect our husbands, very, very, very highly. Our husbands are to love us like Christ loves the Church. Christ died for the Church - for the body of believers.... and, there is no greater love. Our marriages are to be a model of this. Just as Christ is the head of the Church, so should the Husband be the head of the family. If our opinions clash with our husbands, and they will - we need to be humble enough to compromise.... and husbands, with that ultimate love, need to base every opinion on Scripture, and live godly lives. This does NOT mean the husband is always right. The husband needs to respect and love his wife enough, to talk to her and communicate with her. To respect and love her with everything he has and is.
This does NOT mean that we, as ladies, cannot work. This does not bind us to the home - to forever cook and clean, and have children- never to leave the home. However, we should be able to manage the house - but the husband - with his unconditional love - can always help out around the house.
Old Testament Culture Blurb: In those days and that area, women were looked at as something the man owned. Women were about on the same level as dogs and gentiles (non-jews). However, throughout the Old Testament, God set rules in place to protect and honor the females - to prevent the men from taking advantage of the females - like the law about the lady being unclean during her period - she could not partake in relations with her husband - she had to sit and rest until she was clean again. Do you see how this worked to the females' advantage? When she was not feeling well during that time of month, she had to go rest, because she was unclean. Things like that are scattered throughout the Old Testament.
God, our Daddy in heaven, treasures us. He treasures us not only then, but now as well. If He treasures us, how much more should we treasure ourselves? Not to the point of being prideful - but to the point of not degrading ourselves. How much more should the men we date treasure us, if any future husband of ours is supposed to love us like Christ loves the Church?
Not only that, but we are supposed to stay as far away as we possibly can from sexual immorality. [Romans!] The question shouldn't be - "What can I get away with?".... the question should be - "How far can I get from it?".... and this is where I will go to promote that love waits. Real love. Christ-like love, waits. Should it be that radical - that above and beyond - to wait until your wedding day for your first kiss? No - it shouldn't be.
Maybe the best thing to do, is to promise yourself and to God that you will not degrade yourself, and promise that you will not give away what's not yours to give. Honestly, remember all those kisses - those belong to your future husband - they don't belong to any other guy.
The best thing? Wait until God starts to unfold your love story... after all, He is writing it.... and of course God is the best love story novelist of all time - Just think - He unfolded the plan of sending His Son to die to save us. What a love story!
Until then... be content with what God has given you, and run and embrace God's love - staying in the scriptures, and living holy lives, that are pleasing to God. Strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman.
I remember my mom telling me that before she met dad, she wrote a list down of all the things her husband would be.... and dad met every one of those things. Maybe we should make lists of our own? (Not outward appearances, obviously.) We should keep these things in mind. One of my biggest ones - is that I want my husband to have a strong good theological foundation..... I want to be like minded - having the same calling. After all, if we are one person, then these things will be the same. Husband and wife should be evenly yoked - not just both of them being Christians - but they should agree on major theological issues as well.... so they can be like minded, of one accord.... unified and strong.
My list, is this. My man will be...
1. Southern Baptist - GREAT theology
2. Called to International Missions
~ and honestly, you wouldn't think those two things would be that hard to find! Maybe they aren't.... maybe it's just not time for me to meet my man yet.... but all in God's time. Not my own.
When I go back to school this next semester - I'm not going to be searching for a man - like it seems like every girl is.... I'm going to lay back and study my head off - that I might get through Bible College..... and if the right man comes along, fantastic! However... I think I'm done trying to search for him on my own.
Remember ladies - God treasures and loves you very much. Don't degrade yourselves or settle for someone who will.
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