Recently, as most of you know, one of my very close adopted family members passed on to be with our Lord. As I look back, We had a thing going. I'd go to school, get to her house, and spend the rest of the day with her...even if it meant sitting in the chair next to her doing my homework.. it was still time with her. I only really knew her for 2 1/2 years, but she taught me a lot during those years... and is still teaching me, in a way.
When I started coming over, it was right after a horrible battle with endometriosis and a touch of depression. I was enrolled in the alternative school... because I had been absent from regular high school for almost 3 months. I didn't think there was a way out of it. Then, My friend, her son, whom I am very close to - invited me over to spend time with her. So I came over.. I was torn, but that didn't matter to her. I knew she could tell... but she didn't care. She simply loved me anyway.
Time passed, and I'd come over every day... We'd watch westerns, and the Titanic [the 1953 version.. not the one with Leonardo DiCaprio in it, but we watched that one once together.] also, Raise of the Titanic... we'd sink it.. and raise it.. and sink it again.. and raise it again... and then we'd watch the whooooole saga of Lonesome dove.... mind you, it took 8 hours to get through the whole thing. She told me stories about pickin' cotton, the great depression, and snake bites... attempted to make me eat pork rinds and liver... which btw, I don't like.... and she truly cared for me... and I for her. It really didn't matter what we did... we just loved on each other.
Two weeks ago... I said my last "I love you" to her... she said her last "I love you too" and gave her last smile. The next time I saw her, she probably couldn't hear us... and she was breathing really hard. I told her, "I love you, and I know you love me. I'll see you later.".. and then I kissed her on forehead, for the last time.
The next day, I was told she had passed away. I never saw the corpse, but it probably would have been too shocking for me to see her body anyway. She was buried in Gadsden, Alabama.
The reality is.. I WILL see her later in our heavenly home. She taught me how to love in way I wouldn't even be able to comprehend with out her. She taught me that it's very extremely important to always trust in God and not lean on our own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5). She trusted God during her suffering... when she was going... and I could tell... we all could.
She's teaching me now, in the grieving process that God puts things in our path to grow us. The way of the Christian life is difficult, if done correctly... but as Oswald Chambers states....
If we are going to live as disciples of Jesus, we have to remember that all efforts of worth and excellence are difficult. The Christian life is gloriously difficult, but its difficulty does not make us faint and cave in—it stirs us up to overcome. Do we appreciate the miraculous salvation of Jesus Christ enough to be our utmost for His highest—our best for His glory?
God saves people by His sovereign grace through the atonement of Jesus, and “it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” ( Philippians 2:13 ). But we have to “work out” that salvation in our everyday, practical living (Philippians 2:12). If we will only start on the basis of His redemption to do what He commands, then we will find that we can do it. If we fail, it is because we have not yet put into practice what God has placed within us. But a crisis will reveal whether or not we have been putting it into practice. If we will obey the Spirit of God and practice in our physical life what God has placed within us by His Spirit, then when a crisis does come we will find that our own nature, as well as the grace of God, will stand by us.
Thank God that He does give us difficult things to do! His salvation is a joyous thing, but it is also something that requires bravery, courage, and holiness. It tests us for all we are worth. Jesus is “bringing many sons to glory” (Hebrews 2:10) , and God will not shield us from the requirements of sonship. God’s grace produces men and women with a strong family likeness to Jesus Christ, not pampered, spoiled weaklings. It takes a tremendous amount of discipline to live the worthy and excellent life of a disciple of Jesus in the realities of life. And it is always necessary for us to make an effort to live a life of worth and excellence.
Chambers - My Utmost for His Highest -- July 7th
Grandmur lived that life of excellence... and she set an example. What a glorious thing for Christ.
But now, it's our turn.... what will be our choice? How are we going to live our lives? What will people say about us after we've gone home? Will we get that, "Well done, good and faithful servant"?.... That all depends on the choices we make now. Choose carefully, ALWAYS take God into account, and let HIM guide you... and HE will make your paths straight. But remember, for Him to do that... you've got to let Him.
You need to always be... forever His.
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